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1) Chicken sandwich skepticism
On BlueSky this week, X’s greatest meme expatriates were all obsessed with the same screenshot.
In a first-person essay in the Atlantic, a former New York Times editor who worked on the infamous Tom Cotton op-ed that called for federal troops to quell riots in the aftermath of George Floyd’s death relayed what many considered an extremely dubious anecdote.
At his HR onboarding, the hire, Adam Rubenstein, a conservative, said he was asked to name his favorite sandwich. Fretting his bagel order was too highfalutin, he named a Chick-fil-A spicy chicken sandwich. Which according to him, was met with disdain.
“The HR representative leading the orientation chided me: ‘We don’t do that here. They hate gay people.’ People started snapping their fingers in acclamation.”
The story was too quintessentially perfect a distillation of everything the right thought was wrong left-wing institutions: absurd HR seminars flagging microaggressions, woke groupthink, and safe spaces-type mannerisms with which Gen Z can voice displeasure.
On Bluesky, posters refused to believe it occurred, concocting versions of the story. Eventually, it turned into its own meme.
“Woke New York Times editor: what is your favorite song
Me: lump by the presidents of the United States of America
[every person in the New York Times newsroom turns to face me like an aggro'd NPC and begins clicking their fingers menacingly]” one person wrote.
However, in the face of such ardent mocking, several of Rubenstein's contemporaries all chimed in to say they’d heard some version of the story prior to publication.
But on Bluesky, where there are no conservative voices to dissent, it was too good to be true.
2) Gab base revolts
Gab, a website notorious for hating Jews, will now charge you to hate Jews.
But not for any moral reasons. Things are getting too expensive for it to offer its full services for free.
The news came in a message from founder Andrew Torba, who is restricting media uploads to paid users.
“Starting in March, media uploads on Gab will be a privilege reserved for GabPRO, Verified, Donor, and Investor users.”
He noted how Gab, banned from most mainstream servers, faced higher costs. Torba also claimed bot accounts were trying to flood the site to purposefully raise hosting fees.
“We've also faced an onslaught of bot accounts over the past few months that we believe are purposely uploading tons of media files on purpose to flood our storage space … We can't do it anymore.”
The backlash from its users was swift.
“I just saw this post and I'm nothing short of SHOCKED at this decision.... I never thought I'd say it, but this could spell Gabs demise & a possible 'bye bye' from Me.”
“Removing a user's ability to upload images & video is effectively removing their ability to communicate. Memes, gifs are now modern forms of online communication.”
“Stunning. This effectively ends your platform as it began, Andrew.”
Some users criticized Torba’s overzealous efforts to make a non-woke AI, which he’s been relentlessly hyping for months.
“Thinking about this a little more, how much space is your 'AI' project taking up? It has been, poll after poll rejected. Are you willing to lose this just to have that?”
But the backlash couldn’t manage to find ways not to be rife with antisemitism.
“It's like circumcising a means of personal communication,” one person wrote.
3) Eggs are for virgins
Did you know 4chan has a food board? Sure, you probably shouldn’t take cooking and calorie advice from a bunch of trolling misanthropic 24-year-old guys.
That really should be the end of that thought, but it’s undeniable that the site’s sentiments have eked into the more mainstream far-right and shaped its discourse.
So will Republicans soon speak out against eggs?
After all, they’re “fucking disgusting.”
The thought comes from one user who couldn’t get, what the hell is up with eggs?
“I literally, figuratively, genuinely, and unironically cannot understand what on earth it is that people see in eggs. I cannot fathom why anyone would see and smell this and think ‘yeah that's something I want to put in my mouth.’ It makes no sense.”
Others took issue with the prevalence of eggs added to other dishes.
“I don't know what possesses people, not only to eat them, but to force them to be omnipresent in so many other … items. oh man that's a really nice looking sandwich, I sure hope someone SHITS IT UP by shoving some disgusting stinking nauseating eggs in there.”
Beneath it all was a weird thought percolating.
“They're nourishment for virgins. Really think about it, they're byproducts made by organisms specifically to foster the next generation.”
An unpleasant analogy broke out.
“Cum is also nutritious yet I'm not going to drink cum just because it's nutritious, eggs are fucking disgusting.”
So will men eating eggs soon be gay?
Probably.
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